More than a flower

More than a flower

There is something that happens to a girl when she finally realizes she is more than a body… I hope it scares you because the coals that were laying cold for so long are burning now. Her eyes have a spark and her tongue has a sting. She no longer cares for your opinions on her worth as she slowly picks the petals from her own stem and decides she is more than a flower.

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You used to kiss my wrists

and paint “love” onto my ribcage

with your finger tips.

Counting to 10,15,35 as I

struggle to come down from

emotions I just could never get ahold of.

You still push your face into the space

between my neck and my shoulder

blades, I can feel you breathing me in

as you let me release everything everyone else

told me to keep in.

You. Oh my god, you… You have this thing that you do to me and I can’t describe it very well but I think I should at least try. It’s like.. That crooked smile, the way your eye kind of twitches because you’re nervous, the way that you jokingly act like you’re so sly even though you really are… And it makes me melt. You’re so not cocky but yet you are confident when it comes to me, to us, and it just reassures me over and over again that you never had that moment.. That moment where you think, “oh, shit.. I don’t love her anymore.” Not even after 12 years together, you still hold me, you still kiss me, you still treat me like a queen and it’s ridiculous how much you’ve changed but haven’t in the same way. I love you. I’ve always loved you and even though you drive me crazy… It has never stopped. It has never decreased… It’s only grown.

From 14 to 26… thank you for being my everything <3.

I think that if I could go back in time, the only thing I would do differently is not tell as many lies. I would spread myself open wide, giving you full permission to search for whatever you sought. Dig deep within my flaws and tell me, would you still do it all with me? This world we’ve created, would you keep it?